I often get letters from women who tell me that their husband is no longer sensitive and loving. Sometimes it is just a recent event. Nevertheless, sometimes, it happens for a while. Very often, a woman tries to ignore at first. She thought that her husband is just under some stress right now, and that things get back to normal when things calm down a little. However, it does not always happen. Sometimes, lack of love, it seems like it is here to stay. It eventually becomes a habit, which is quite normal.
Finally, one day the wife decides she just does not want to live this way. She knows that one of the reasons why married was feeling the love, affection, and recognition from her husband. Many women think that if they can figure out why he lacks affection, they can begin to solve the problem in the hope of finally fixing it. In this article, I will list the most common reasons behind his lack of love. I’ll also try to add some tips on how to save your relationship.
He Lacks Affection- How to Save Your Relationship?
He Lacks Affection but Why?
Often, a person withdraws his feelings when something very fast and unwanted is going on in his life. He is feeling disappointed in some or other way. These stress points are not always on your relationship. Sometimes, it is his work, health or even his relatives and friends. Even it could be his everyday duties which bogged him down.
Nevertheless, the husband, who was affectionate to his wife, would just want to be passionate as unconscious extensions. If he does not do it means, he is disconnected from his emotions. Usually from any particular reason that may not be obvious which he may or may not share with you.
In general, something or some expectations he wished were not met. Perhaps he is disappointed with the life in general, or maybe he is not happy the way life is moving. Sometimes, as a result, he does not express his feelings, or tells you anything about the situation.
He simply turns self-centered and confined. This is where he starts lacking affection. Whether it is his conscious response or not it starts distancing between you. So, how to save your relationship?
Please don’t take me wrong thinking I’m insinuating that his lack of love is a reasonable behavior. And I’m not. I am only trying to say in no way he is wrong. Men cannot discuss like a woman what is bothering actually. They will often adjourn, although it is not the best thing to do.
Now you can be just Co-Existing: How to Save Your Relationship?
Sometimes ago you had a husband, who was very affectionate and demonstrative earlier, but this is not true anymore. Somewhere over the time, the feelings vanished, and both of you turned your attention to the life obligations and daily duties. This is normal and happens in most marriages. However, some can handle this situation better than others.
Sometimes this shift in priorities also contributes to feelings of disagreement. Things are starting to feel a kind of rough and routine. Often, when this shift happens, people rather shrug their shoulders. They cannot believe that they cannot be obsessed with each other forever. Therefore, no one really fights on these changes. And this “cooling off” duration in your relationship becomes the part of your culture. However, it is likely that both of you still feel it inside, even if it is conscious or not.
It is important that you do not have to take this course, even if you think you are so comfortable. Why? Because this makes your relationship vulnerable and that can seriously damage the internal bonding. I often hear from people who tell me that this lack of love and affection contributed to infidelity and separation. It is just not something you want to avoid. Moreover, the more it becomes a habit; the harder it will be to change this habit.
Time to Take Action.
The worst thing you can do right now is to ignore the problem and that is most common. That way you are actually worsening the situation. Do not behave so as nothing is wrong, when you absolutely know it is there. At this moment, you must take at firm and quick steps.
If you have to deal with your partner, there is nothing wrong to say to him that you miss him. You can do some intimate gestures that you used to do during your passionate times. Help him to remember the old days again. Show your support to him. Make him feel more secured.
Sometimes when you bring this up, your husband may deny the fact and say it is all in your head only. It may even make him irritated and he may react. In this case, just slow down… you probably may not want to harp on this, which may get negative reactions.
Instead, show your affection in other gestures like… holding his hands, hugging, kissing, or anything that you think he likes. Inject a positive verve inside him. Praise him for what he did, remind him the achievements he made, cook his favorite foods… do everything you used to do together. Show him how important he is for you. Believe me, if you do it right, it never fails.
These will surely make him relaxed and rethink about what you said. He will start enjoying these as it makes him forget all his obligations. Slowly-slowly, he will start reciprocating and you will start getting your well-deserved love, attention, and affection.
After getting married for 6 long years, one day I felt my husband lacking affection for me. There were no one to ask me – how to save your relationship. I was totally broken and could not decide what to do. The only thing I did, as I said above, show him the love, attention and affection. And he reciprocated positively… we live each day like a newly married couple now.