My abortion story started when I was 18, and I had my first abortion. It never thought that I might become pregnant.
Before I start, my advice (or, you may consider as request) to all.
Falling in love and getting into an intimate relationship is not wrong. But please ensure to take proper protections and avoid situations like abortion. Life is beautiful till we keep it beautiful.
I was in a relationship with a boy that I met when I was on a road trip. When it was time for me to go back to home, he followed me. He got a room in a motel not far from my parent’s house. We started meeting every day; I felt like I was in love with him, but really, it was infatuation.
After some time I suspected I was pregnant and went to doctor for a test. I was shocked and scared when I called the doctor, and she informed me that I was pregnant. I could not think and do not know what to do.
Then the story took a twist. Alex (name changed to protect privacy), my boyfriend who wanted to marry me earlier started ignoring me. He was acting strange, and I did not trust him anymore.
A few days later, my mother confronted me and directly asked me if I was pregnant. I could not believe it – how did she guess? I had only just found out myself and did not have time to even think about what I would do. She told me that she noticed the sanitary pads had not been used and this gave her reason to confront me.
My Abortion Story: Protect Your Heart!
Mom Played A Vital Role.
She told me that it was only a “BLOB” of tissue and there is no harm to abort it. At this point, I felt utterly defeated and like I had no choice. I was more afraid of my father as he would never accept this.
You see, my father, and I never had a great relationship. When I was in high school, he had a major heart attack, and I blamed myself for it.
But my mother, she is a social worker had many contacts. She found that a minister from a church in Park Ridge was taking pregnant women and girls across the border into WI. I had to pay for it… it cost $350.
It’s not Me only.
I think it was a Saturday that eight of us were taken to the abortionist’s office in downtown Milwaukee. To this day, I am not sure if it was a Doctor. It was in a 3-room office. There was a woman there who gave each of us a pill. I think it was a Valium.
When it came to be my turn, she sensed that I did not want to go through with it and even asked me if this was what I wanted. I told her that I did not want to have the abortion but that if I did not my Mother would kill me. She wished to get rid of this. I know every mother would feel the same; she did not want to ruin my life.
I had no idea that this was to be a life-altering event. I was the youngest of the eight girls; the others were in their 20’s. They were all crazy, how they could act as if this was nothing, laughing and carrying on.
I buried all my emotions that day. I ordered a hamburger and started enjoying it; food became a comfort to me. We arrived back at the Church sometimes around 3 or 4 o’clock. The drive home was silent; you could have heard a pin drop. My mother never asked me if I was OK. She just acted as if nothing had happened. I think a part of her changed that day as well.
2nd Time: My Abortion Story Repeated, AGAIN!
Just before my 21st birthday, I once again found myself pregnant. I was living with my boyfriend at the time, I never thought of getting an abortion. We went to see his parents and told them the news. I think we both felt that they would support us.
Well once again, abortion was mentioned. This time my boyfriend also thought that maybe we should. I went to see an OB & GYN who gave us the name of a Planned Parenthood clinic in Chicago. We decided if I was too far along that we would have the baby. When you walk into an Abortion Clinic, there is a massive, oppressive feel to it.
We were taken to talk with a counselor who we told that if I were not too far along, I would have the abortion. I never was examined or asked when my last period was. I was told by this woman that I was not too far and that I could have the abortion.
Once again, I fell for the easy way out. Afterwards, on the way home, we decided to get married. I believe it was out of guilt.
My Married Life.
We are still married, this summer it will be 31 years. You know, we did not have a natural marriage. The incident before was poking me every day. My feeling was; why I had the abortion when we decided to marry. I cried a lot of the time.
I had no patience and was always picking a fight with my husband. He has put up with a lot over the years perhaps because of his guilt, not sure though. Sometimes I felt like blaming him, but I didn’t want to. It was my decision too, to get intimated without any protection. It was my mistake also.
I had a daughter when I was 24. Having her had stirred up all kinds of emotions that I had buried. She has had to live with the effects of my actions, and it was not easy for her either.
When she was in about 4th grade, I started to become more aware of the Pro-life Movement. I began the journey of healing although.
My Daughter Heard my Abortion Story – What’s Now!
One day my daughter asked me if I ever had an abortion. She had asked when she was younger, I denied it, but this time I broke down, and I told her my story.
I told her if I could take back doing so, I would. But life moves in one direction, and you have to suffer your deed. Surprisingly, she confronted me saying- ‘Forget what has happened. Let’s move on’.
I was not sure if it had affected her. I could not understand that she could take my early days’ mistakes granted or not. But I felt light and positive.
I realized that it was My Fault!
I did finally confront my mother, and she never did apologize. She said she would do it again because it was the best option she had at that moment. I knew she was right but, still, I had a feeling that she could stop it. Though, I could not surmise why I was observing such agitation in me.
I have realized that I cannot put all the blame on others I must take responsibility for my actions. No one forced me to get intimate before marriage. I made this choice my own.
I also realize that it was not fair to put my mother in the position I put her in. Although, she too has to take responsibility for her response to my pregnancy. My husband’s mother did come to me years later and say she was sorry and I am grateful for this.
The hardest part is to learn to forgive me. And, slowly I could make my mind that it was the need of the time and everyone played their role as expected.
My Last Words…
I would say to all those who are thinking of an abortion, give yourself and your baby a chance. Take it as the last option where you have no other choice left. With little more care and sense, this can be avoided.
One lesson I learned from my abortion story: once you cross that road there is no turning back. It will follow you all the rest of your life.
Disclaimer: Name and Locations are modified to protect privacy.